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Lost Asian Girls with Academic Confusion Troubles

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Just Call Me Gopher May. 5th, 2005 @ 04:10 pm
I'm Raven Tree Press's newest intern.
Current Mood: bouncyweeeeeeee!!
Current Music: Teen Girl Squad!

Eeee! May. 5th, 2005 @ 02:14 am
I have my interview at Raven Tree Press tomorrow for the internship. @_@ EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! I'm nervous!
Current Mood: nervousnevous
Current Music: "Seasons" by Ayumi Hamasaki

Changing Your Fate Apr. 28th, 2005 @ 09:31 pm
WOW! Two posts in one day O_O Maybe this community isn't dead! I should advertise or something. PIKA!

I often think about my decision/fall from grace from graduate school. When was it that moment that I realized I didn't belong there? That a life with these people, in this class wasn't my thing? I'm still feeling the consequences. It's like to turn a page in a choose your own adventure book and events just go in one direction. There's no way I can objectively conclude if my life would've been better if I chose to stick it out in Graduate school. Maybe I wouldn't have gotten into that car accident. I wouldn't have had to fight for over a year working at Walgreens. I would still be in school, with some delusions about life still intact. Well, that's just a guess. I could've as just been as easily been run over by a car on my walk to school at UCLA. But life changing occurances happen, and when things are difficult, you sit back, think about those moments, and wonder "what if."

The reason I'm posting today is that I had a very interesting talk with one of my co-workers. I was over at his cubicle asking about statute of limitations, and somehow the point came up that he designed a program in school for needle prick issues for medical doctors. I was immediately interested, and asked if he did bioinfomatics as a major. Apparently he was a bio major, and several interviews away from graduate school. He said he had intereviews with several prominent schools, but declined to interview with them all since he couldn't stand the ethics behind clinical trials, etc.

Now I have no way of verifying what he said, but it made me think about how anyone could sit down and make that kind of a decision. For me, I kind of didn't have a choice. I nearly died in graduate school. Emotionally I was a wreck. I hated school, had no friends, and the over crowded classes made it impossible to learn. Several times I thought about suicide. Just separating myself from UCLA almost killed me financially (they wanted all their money back). It just set me in a state where I could not function. There was no choice there. It was leave, or die. But for him! Think about that! He didn't seem emotionally distressed about it (he doesn't seem the type, either). He just made a decision that was not where he wanted to be. His parents were furious with him. He just decided he needed time to decide if that's what he really wanted to do. So he just... got a job. O_O I guess it's working for him... but wow.

The thing is, when I was younger, I didn't really think of life as "living in the consequences" of our academic and professional decisions. It was progressing. I'm beginning to finally understand why some older people were so jealous of my youth, and keep telling me stuff like "Oh, you're still young!" as if all the problems I lament about are irrelevant because of my age. It's because they're living in their consequences, and see youth as a fountain of second chances. "If I were ten again" "If I were five again" I could make so many better decisions! That's one way to think about it, but it doesn't really work. I don't want to think "crap, this sucks, and it's the end of this story", that's living in the consequences. I want to still be "in progress"

Life's just never going to be the same as in high school (not that THAT didn't suck, but anyway....), so bright with possibilities and such. The present is a mix of that. Yes, there are the consequences (aoh... I shouldn't have eaten so much pizza last night *_*) to the beginning of something else (O_O I shall pick up tennis!.. not :p) to the continuation of stories still being told (still working on that manga technique ^_^).

Hope everyone's having a good year so far ^_^ It's nearly May!

Meet the Twixters Jan. 28th, 2005 @ 03:24 am
As promised, here's a bit about the cover article in the January 24, 2005 issue of TIME magaznie. The opens with the title "Grow Up? Not so fast. Meet the Twixters. They're not kids anymore, but they're not adults either."

The artcle is a fascinating read for me, since I can relate to so many issues the kids/aduts/twixters brought up in regards to why they lead the kind of life they do. The main common factor among all of them? They can't grow up; be it moving out of their parents home, getting a job with good benefits, getting married (having a kid), or just finishing school.

These people all have similiar concerns about "finding the right job that's rewarding AND pays decent" Some are willing to hop job to job, wading around in minimum wage if they have to and/or starting over in the corporate ladder, others just... take a couple more years of college to figure out what they heck they're doing. There's a good spread on some statistics relevant to the article.

In particular, the guy I related to the most in the article ALSO got a degree in something that's not as practical as other degrees, started off his career as a waiter and ended up being a claims examiner at an insurance company (same thing I do!). I actually pointed at the magazine and laughed since claims examiner is an entry level job that has pretty good salary and benefits, but it's typically NOT the thing people think about growing up as... not the most glamorous thing in the world, no... but it pays the bills.

The frustrations are common too: Hard work and intelligence doesn't mean much when you can't apply the skills you've gotten in college. The article mentions how universities are doing less and less good of a job of actually preparing students for "the real world". I fondly remember considering my options of what to do after undergraduate school, and just thinking "hell, let's go to grad school" since it was a better prospect at the time than getting out unemployed.

Surprising to me is that this has become a phenomon! There are social scientists out there writing books about it (I'm planning on reading some of them and sharing my thoughts on them), more and more people of my generation are growing up this way. They want to figure out who they are, find a niche, take care of themselves before settling down and finding someone to spend the rest of their life with, etc. They're confused at what they're supposed to do outside of work, get a paycheck, pay rent, eat, repeat. There's a kind of idealism that might explain why we choose to live our lives this way. All this, of course, more in-depth in the article.

Dr. Phil actually had a Show on a similar topic, about new graduates being "lost". He mentions that it might be a sense of entitlement, that when college stops, these people think life should begin at the quality they've been living when they were with their parents. Perhaps. On the other hand, is it unreasonable to think that after four years, 40K and much blood and sweat I would at least be able to get INTERVIEWS with people? Someone forgot to tell me (ahem, college that I paid so much money for) that it was nearly unacceptable to be a candidate for an entry level position w/o skills I can immediately apply. It's like "Okay, you're smart. Graduated with High Honors from top public university in America... but what can you do?" Me: "..." One minute I've got a trascript that tells me I'm way prepared, the next I've got no job.

Maybe we're picky, and want to try out everything to make sure we find the right job. Or maybe the job market just sucks. But I'm glad someone is bringing it up (go Time magazine!), instead f falling into the old rut of "oh, they're just lazy bums who don't want to move out of their parents' house." There must be something going on when so many in my generation are going through this.

I encourage you to go read it the article! Flip through it in the store or check it out in the library!

Relevant Cover Story Jan. 27th, 2005 @ 06:43 am
I encourage everyone to go check out the January 24 Issue of TIME magazine. The cover story is regarding the phenomon of grown ups who aren't quite grown up. I'll talk about it more later, but go check it out! A lot of the things they talk about has to do with the reason why I started LAG ACT. :)
Other entries
» The New Year Brings More... Lagdom XD
Hope everyone's having a good New Year's so far. For those of you still kinda "meh" and what to do or are currently wondering why they're doing the line of work they're doing (Me, hai... but at least I have a job, I should be happy, no?), good luck finding direction.

Me, I'm in the all majors field of insurance :D There really isn't a major for it in school, or even much school required for it, in fact, so I'm applying absolutely nothing from my major to this job. I just want to run back to school and find something else to do, but I also like the security of having a job, knowing that in about five years I can begin to seriously save for a house, instead of being just out of school and looking for a job again.

I'm getting too old for this. XD Quarter-Life crisis time!
» *Flails*

Why won't no one hire meeee....?

» Well dang it...
I got my test results for the Claims Adjuster exam today. I got rank 4, meaning I'm not "reachable" on the list (they can't contact me for interviewing for open positions.) Dang it. I think I did well on the written, I guess I must have messed up in the interview more than I imagined.

So now I gotta wait until people get hired to get them off the list so I can get into rank 3, from where I'll actually be reachable.


I should start consider other positions in state employment, since clearly I'm not going to make any more headway until this list expired, and I have to take the test again. (You can't take it before then.)
» Change change
Wow, I guess everyone's got a lot less career angst in the summer? O_o

Still stuck in nowheres-ville in terms of a career. I want to go out there and do something useful, but I really don't mind this kind of life either. Well, I mind, but there are some parts of this life I'll probably lose if I go out there and get a career. I'll most likely not be able to chat with my friends as much, or even have time to draw, which I recently got back into doing. I wouldn't be able to be as childish anymore... aoh. It's that, moving on professionally, I would have to leave a lot of things behind that's kept me sane all this time. Chu...
» Wee!
^___^ I made it through my evil Critical Writing course with a B!

And and and I got an AB in BOTH art classes and another B in my other English course and I'm like weee! ^^!

*bounces off to sleep* o.o Bedtime!
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